May 4. 1 Corinthians 7. Stephen Miller
On Marriage and Divorce
The main topics in chapter 7 are divorce and marriage with a few other topics. Paul essentially reiterates and elaborates on Jesus’ own words from Mt 19:3-11 (NIV).
3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Jesus and Paul make the same 2 main points.
Divorce and remarriage is a sin except when a spouse commits adultery.
It is better to not marry if it is your gift.
When I read this chapter and the other passages, I’m left with a sobering sense of the seriousness that God expects from us in the making of life decisions like marriage as disciples. God designs the concept of marriage to mirror His own relationship with us. God loves us and gave the ultimate sacrifice for us in His Son even though we were the adulterous wife. God never stops loving us. And so God expects us to be holy like Him and extend love, grace, sacrifice, and forgiveness to each other in marriage just as it was extended to us by God in becoming disciples of Christ. God makes us holy and radiant and we are to make our spouses holy and radiant as well.
The two shall become one is not easy since we are human with faults. Marriage thus allows us to feel the full range of emotions that God Himself must feel in his dealings with us. Marriage teaches us to love another person like God does. It allows us to experience a similar full range of emotions as we work to being faithful to our spouse. It helps us to understand God better.
God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) because God doesn’t hold back love and grace and we are expected to do the same with our spouse. God doesn’t walk away from us rather we walk away from God. The same pattern needs to be in our marriages. Divorce is only permissible when the spouse commits the ultimate denial of love in adultery.
Paul does interpret the command of God further in I Cor7:11 by clarifying that disciples in marriage may separate but not remarry. It strikes me as God gives us a way out of bad situations in a marriage that are short of adultery. Paul does state in verse 15 that “God has called us to live in peace”.
However, separation without remarriage is a difficult road to follow and I think that is also why Paul then discusses being content with our place in life (verses 17-24). There is much written in the bible on the topic of contentment. II Cor 12:7-10, Paul prays for relief and God’s answer is that His grace is sufficient. I Tim 6:6, Godliness with contentment is great gain. Phil 4:11, Paul has learned to be content in all situations. Heb 13:5, Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
And then Paul elaborates even further into the complexity of marriages between believers and unbelievers in verses 12 through 16. Paul qualifies his comments by saying these are from him and not the Lord. Paul clearly wants married couples to not divorce but he states that divorce is acceptable if the non-believing spouse leaves.
In verses 1-9 and 25-39, Paul gives reasons to support the second main point - it is better to not marry. Again he qualifies that these are his words in verse 25 by saying - “but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy”. He gives the reason “of the present crisis” as the main reason to not marry which is believed to be a reference to the persecution of Christians. Both Jesus and Paul say not being married is best but it is a gift from God. If you don’t have the gift then it is best to get married.
Paul clearly differentiates between God’s commands and his own advice in this chapter. God’s commands are to be obeyed. Yet we are free to make decisions on many things including Paul’s advice. Clearly we need to be responsible for our decisions. We have many who give us advice in life but we are responsible for our decisions. Marriage is not a light decision. Divorce is not a light decision. We need to think our decisions through and commit to the outcomes of those decisions.
Question: How does God’s love for us model a solution for us in a specific area of difficulty in our marriage?
Question: What is an area in our lives that is in the most need of being given over to God for us to be more content?